Over the past week and a half, I’ve been much more the observer of my life. We spent time with my in-laws, and it was quite interesting to watch the play of emotions and drama that usually arises. In a way, it was quite fun to watch everyone’s blueprint being played out. This was the first holiday in quite awhile where I wasn’t sad that I wasn’t spending time with my kids. I mean, I was sad, but I wasn’t devastated. It ended up being quite a peaceful holiday.
Again, I did miss not having our usual Sunday MKE webinar. The video with week 14 materials was wonderful and I guess that’ll make up for not having it! LOL!
More cement continues to fall off. I’m wondering about changing a PPN yet again. I went from Liberty to Legacy and now I’m pondering Legacy to Freedom. I know they’re all interconnected with each other and that when I have Legacy, I also have Freedom. I know Mark would say to simply choose one, but I like to mull things over a bit. True Health is definitely one PPN…I didn’t even have to think about that one. Mulling over whether choosing freedom is the lazy way out of going big or is it truly what I want. Am I settling or do I really not need Legacy?
One of the biggest blessings of this whole experience is connecting with those who want to delve into the mindset and discuss the deeper questions and meanings. My MasterMind partner is one of those people, and we have been known to get so involved in our discussions that we suddenly realize it’s been 2 hours! Even though they go over our allotted time, they feed me in a deep and meaningful way. Is that the freedom I’m seeking?
Week 14’s Master Key reading has also brought forth deeper thoughts, especially paragraph 23 about the power of prayer. I was raised Episcopalian and was a steady churchgoer for many years. I fell away for a few years in my first marriage until the children were born. Then I got involved again at an especially loving and caring congregation. They helped see me through my difficult divorce and getting started on my own. Later when I met my husband, who was raised Jewish, he came with me to a few services. But then he asked me questions about my beliefs. And I realized I couldn’t explain them beyond what I was taught in preparation for confirmation (like a catechism). I began to feel inauthentic attending and soon stopped. I didn’t attend another church until about 3 years ago when I found a Religious Science congregation. I loved going there and what I was learning, but it was 50 miles one way and that soon got old. Plus I realized that I couldn’t explain those beliefs to my Southern Baptist daughter and her seminary-attending husband, and it wasn’t long before I left that congregation.
As I write this, I’m observing the thoughts in my head. Why do I leave what I can’t explain? Do I have to know everything? More questions to ponder.
Is that part of this Master Key process? To question? To delve deeper to find the meaning?
Two words that are speaking to me right now are Trust and Contentment. What if I trust that the Universe wants to see me succeed. Is that the universal power that I’m tapping into through my subconscious? If I dwell in the Now, do things relax? Become easier? Release resistance? Stop over-analyzing?
I don’t have the answers right now. And for once, that’s OK. And that of itself is a miracle.