Vicki Drobnis

Week 24…the final lesson of this course. When I began 6 months ago, I had no idea where this would lead me. I was excited yet apprehensive, curious yet concerned. Would I be able to keep up with the work? What changes would this make in my life? Would it be worth the effort?

Well, yes I did keep up with the work. A few slips here and there, and then I’d get back on track.

Changes? Oh my! More even temperament! A feeling of hope that I can accomplish anything! Tools that I thought I understood before I now understand in a whole different light. New friends from all over the world who feel like family! More confidence in my abilities and dreams than I ever had before! A better relationship with my mother, my son, my daughter, and my hubby! Improved habits that keep me focused on my goals!

YES, it has been worth every bit of effort! And effort it has been. As Haanel says in 24-10, “Remember, and this is one of the most difficult as well as most wonderful statements to grasp…remember that no matter what the difficulty is, no matter where it is, no matter who is affected, you have no patient but yourself; you have nothing to do but to convince yourself of the truth which you desire to see manifested.” and 24-19, “Your life and your actions and your influence in the world will depend upon the degree of truth which you are enabled to perceive, for truth will not manifest in creeds, but in conduct.”

As I’ve written before, I’m a huge fan of The Greatest Showman. I finally got to see it a couple of weeks ago, and there is not a better explanation of the Master Key/Hero’s Journey experience than this song from that movie…

So to Mark, Davene, Derek, GG, Dayna, my guide Linda, my MasterMind partners Naila and Stephana, Tribe members Jim, Darlene, Donna, Tammy, Candy, and everyone else who ventured forth with me during these past six months, thank you for your presence in my life. You all have blessed me in ways I could never imagine and in ways I will never forget.

I live an endlessly metaphorical life.

I love seeing signs and deeper meanings to my life, books, movies, music, people, situations, etc.

For example, a couple of weeks ago, I got my first progressive glasses.  They tell you there’s a learning curve with these glasses as you have to train your brain in the direction you wish to focus.  For the first couple of days, it felt like I was in a fun house, unable to tell if indeed “objects are closer than they appear” or what was in my periphery.  Slowly my eyes became accustomed to the new lenses and I can see fairly normally now.  But at times, I still must shift my head to focus on what I’m reading or looking at.

What a fantastic metaphor for focusing with our minds!  We choose what to view and what to think.  We have a choice.  What we choose determines our life and our response-ability for what happens.  I see it as no coincidence that I began wearing these new lenses during my Master Key experience.

So as I come near the end of my Master Key experience (two more weeks!), it’s really the beginning.  Am I a self-directed thinker?  Have I created the habits necessary to fulfill my DMP?  I’m seeing doors open in ways I could’ve never imagined.  I wake up excited for the day to come!  If something negative happens, I can pivot fairly quickly or at least not let it drag me down the way it would’ve before.  Progress!

Stay tuned!  There’s more to come!  🙂

 

The week began on a scary note.  Not that anything scary actually happened, but my mind and old blueprint sure made a good impression that it had.  I’m doing my yoga practice Sunday morning and all of a sudden I got this overwhelming feeling of fear and dread.  My hubby was out of the house that morning, so of course I worried it was about him.  This has been an old recurring thing – worrying about him when he’s not around.  This time it was so overwhelming that it got me off my mat and I sobbed in my chair.  At times feelings will come up as I’m doing my exercise programs, and I’ve always considered it a form of detox and release from the movement.  #issuesinthetissues

This felt different.  Like I was tuned in to some sort of connection and I even checked the online news to be sure there was no mention of an accident.  I did text my hubby and he didn’t reply until about 30 minutes later.  Thirty agonizing minutes later.  After knowing he was safe, I went back to my yoga practice to attempt to ground and center myself again.  Let’s just say it wasn’t my best yoga practice.  Near the end of my practice I felt the strong urge to yawn and it felt like the fear left my body through this “yawn” and then…nothing.

The rest of the day I quietly read and disconnected from social media.

The remainder of the week has been nothing short of miraculous!

As I eased into the week, things began to flow more easily.  I felt grounded, connected, in alignment.  As the week unfolded, miracles happened.  Timely connections happened.  Things flowed smoothly.  Answers to questions I’ve had for months were suddenly revealed in astounding ways!

Today as I write this, I feel like I’m a new person, yet reconnected to ME!  I have new vision for the direction my life is going and a renewed sense of purpose.  I’ll be revising my DMP because of the alignment with the clarity of purpose that revealed itself to me this week.  The weight has been lifted.  The extra space that was being taken up in my brain has been released and there’s room for creative insights and new directions!

I’m still processing all this new clarity and how to incorporate in my life.  For now, I have absolute faith and trust in the unfolding and no longer feel the need to know exactly how it’s going to come about.

All I know is it is unfolding beautifully and I am so blessed!

Stay tuned! 🙂

During the webinar last Sunday, Mark suggested (not required) for us to do a time of silent reflection.  No texting, no computer, no talking, no texting, no music, no reading, no texting, no Facebook, no Twitter, etc. (Did I mention no texting?).  Immediately this appealed to me.  I even commented in the chat that I had been adding in an extra sit meditation during the day because it helped to calm my mind.  When I made the decision to have my silent retreat the next day (it simply worked out for me to do it that quickly), I felt energy moving around in the front of my brain (prefrontal cortex) and the right side of my head (temporal lobe).  Interesting feeling.  Not sure what it means.  Any brain experts out there?

Monday dawns quietly.  I did my Og reading and read my affirmation and service cards silently to myself.  I did my T-Tapp and Kundalini yoga from memory silently.  As I lay on the floor after my workout on my chi machine, I felt a layer of cement “burst” off my body, similar to my first acupuncture session in 2014 where I felt like a Vicki-shaped balloon “popped” and collapsed back on me.

During the day, my manifesting ability came quickly.  I only needed to think of something and there it was.  For example, I was looking at the beautiful blue sky out my window and thought how beautiful it is to be flying with my hubby and immediately a plane flew overhead.  I thought back to a previous day I spent totally by myself back in 1995 where I went to the Riverbanks Zoo and saw a spider web that looked like a vinyl record playing on a record player in the spring breeze.  Immediately a spider goes crawling across my window.

I ate a small lunch and did my lunchtime reading and another meditation.  I felt at rest, peaceful, content…all was right with the world.  Bliss.

During the afternoon, I watched planes fly overhead (evidently we’re on a flight pathway) every 15-20 minutes.  I thought about the 100 or more people on board and wondered what their lives were like.  Did they know that I was on the Earth below watching them traverse the sky?  Or were they wrapped up in their devices or napping as they flew over Tennessee?

After my hubby left to go see a client, I did feel a bit anxious about not having my phone on.  What if he needed me?  What if he had a wreck?  What if someone needed to reach me?  I tried to soothe myself by remembering I hadn’t had a cell phone until I was in my late 20s and had managed to survive quite well. 🙂

Still, there was a feeling of relief when I heard my hubby open the door returning home.  Yet also, I felt a bit of guilt that I had done nothing money-making all day long.  As I thought that, a hot flash ran through me.  Embarrassment?  Shame?  Guilt?

Because it was dark and quiet, I decided to go to bed by 8pm.  I slept soundly through the night and awoke feeling a bit anxious.  What had I missed?  What did I need to do now that my silent retreat was complete?  I then decided I needed to do another one, preferably longer and with a little more notice to be sure I wouldn’t feel as if I had left anything undone.

So what did I learn?  I learned the world goes on quite well without me.  A somewhat comforting thought and yet also a little disturbing.  If the world could survive without me, then what was my purpose in being here?  Deep thoughts to be contemplated on the next silent retreat.

I am most grateful this was suggested for us to do.  It is something I will do again.

Have you ever done a silent retreat?  Share your experience and observations in the comments, please.  What changed for you by doing this?

 

Thoughts swirling like dust motes drifting in the sunlight.  What do I write about this week?  So much on my mind.  Attempting to stay the observer and not take any of it personally.  I wish I could say that was easy this past week, yet that would be a lie.  The old blueprint still has a few tricks up her sleeve and she does not want to go gentle into the good night.

Thoughts and questions like, “why when I focus on something to happen, the opposite does?”  “why have I placed myself in places to be judged?”  “what am I pretending not to know?”  “what if I am the greatest miracle?”  “what am I afraid of?”  “what am I ashamed of?”  Yeah, really deep stuff.

I go back and forth on whether it’s better to be out and about and engaging with people or stay home and work and protect my energy.  This weekend I have a retreat to go to, and I am looking forward to seeing many of my friends and yet, there’s a part of me that wishes I could “Zoom” it in.  People have always considered me an extrovert because I do know how to be social with people successfully, yet after years of teaching, sometimes those energies seem like too much.  I like the term “ambivert” – those who have both introverted and extroverted tendencies.  It’s been rainy this week, so perhaps that’s why I feel a bit more introverted.  Glorious sunshine does do this body good!

The judgement thing has been on my mind the past couple of days.  Naila and I masterminded about it today.  I don’t ever recall a time of feeling like I was normal, like I fit in.  I do celebrate that at times, and yet at times I yearn to fit in.  I know, why fit in when you were born to stand out?  Hence, the quandary.  My mother was raised in an alcoholic home where standing out was dangerous.  I was not raised in that situation, yet I have probably picked up some of her coping mechanisms.  One of her biggest concerns was “what will the neighbors think?”  Obviously by some of my decisions in life, I rebelled against that.  I put myself in places where I could and would be judged – getting a divorce when it was still not that common, being a single mom, marrying a Jewish man when I was Christian (at the time), becoming a high school teacher (talk about putting yourself in front of a room full of judges! LOL!), teaching a cutting-edge fitness program that’s outside the box and still not well-known, becoming an entrepreneur and a network marketer, studying and practicing Kundalini yoga, all while living in the back woods of Tennessee.  Even writing these out for the world to see feels scary.  What will you think of me?  Will you judge me and find me lacking?  Will you no longer want to be my friend?  Will you decide I’m too bizarre and forget about me?  Are these your thoughts or are they mine?  What we see is a reflection of our internal world.  Mine feels like a hurricane at the moment.  And part of me only wants the calm eye to catch my breath and decide which way to go next.

This past week a friend posted on Facebook about The Greatest Showman and how wonderful it was along with the soundtrack.  She said it was perfect for those who were entrepreneurs.  Of course, that got my attention! LOL!  So while I haven’t seen it yet, I searched YouTube for the songs and found words that spoke to my heart.  Now I HAVE to go see this movie…and soon!  Two songs spoke to me deeply…

This Is Me (watch the first few minutes to get a deeper meaning)

and From Now On (also watch the first few minutes)

So these two songs have become my anthems.  Both bring tears to my eyes, letting me know I’ve reached deep into my soul and these songs are healing those wounded parts of myself who have made me who I am.

It took Hugh Jackman and crew 7.5 years to bring this to life.  No matter how long it takes me, my life is a brilliant burst of love and creativity!  I am nature’s greatest miracle and it’s a beautiful journey…all of it!

Wow!  20 weeks in!  Only 6 weeks left.  That sure went by quickly!  In a way, it feels like I’ve always been doing this and in others, it’s like I’m brand new.  Definitely one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.  And as I shared in my Facebook Live today, it’s smart to invest in yourself.

There are still those days of two steps forward and one step back, yet they seem to be happening less and less.  I’m able to pivot when something “negative” happens and see it as a positive.  I’m beginning to trust myself more and see myself as this wonderful aspect of the Divine.  Not perfect, simply perfect in my perfection as an extension of Divine energy.  The more I read of Haanel, the more it explains so much that I never quite understood when I started my self-discovery journey 20 years ago.  The dots are connecting, and the picture they’re forming is absolutely breathtaking!

Through this process, I’ve been able to discover so much about myself and ways to help myself and others:

• I absolutely loved going through the Go90Grow experience Mark and Davene also offer and have implemented those skills to help my business grow.  If you’re in network marketing, I highly recommend it.  It’s far more than skills; it’s also personal growth and building a social media audience.
• I’ve also vastly improved my health and fitness.  Before I was only able to work out a few times a week, even as a fitness trainer.  Now because of my focus in True Health (one of my PPNs) and my consistency with my healthy lifestyle of eating plant-based and taking my fave supplements, I’m working out not only every day, but twice every day!  That would’ve never happened before because I didn’t believe it was possible.  Now I KNOW it is and I’m loving how I’m feeling!
• Master Minding with Naila and Stephana opened new doors in my life, and I likely would’ve never met these two lovely ladies without the MKMMA course!
• I have a much better relationship with my children and my hubby.  We have deeper conversations and no longer simply chat about superficial things.

Life not only is good, it feels good!

And I am so thankful!

 

Well, this week started out rough!  Either I was upleveling BIG TIME, or I had been exposed to the flu that’s been dropping people like flies in my area. 

 

 

 

Either way, I spent Monday in bed reading and sleeping.  Of course, the logical thing to have done would’ve been to read my Master Key materials even more.  However, that’s not what I did.  I felt active rebellion going on and refused to read them, other than I did read the week 19 passage once.  No sits, no Greatest Salesman, no service cards, no affirmation cards, nada.  Ironic considering that my Franklin Makeover word this week was self-control.  LOL!

 

I dug in like a toddler who was throwing a tantrum and there was no way I was doing what I was supposed to do, other than rest and take my supplements to hopefully bypass whatever had a hold of me.

By Tuesday morning, I was feeling better physically (#guthealthROCKS) and yet really down on myself for not being consistent with my readings and promises.  Had I ruined all my hard work of the previous 4 months?  Would I not reach my goals as a result of my defiance?  As I sat in my sit Tuesday morning, I pondered over this and asked, “What can I do to feel more confident?”  Tears streamed down my cheeks, a frequent occurrence in my sits.  Melting away old cement.  After my sit was done, I watched the video Mark shared for the week – the coolest Ted Talk about Power Poses.  As I’m watching, I’m realizing my answer had come to me!  How freakin’ cool was THAT?  Ask and ye shall receive IS true!  If you just stay focused on what it is you want and not the absence of it, it’s amazing what will happen!

 

The rest of this week I have felt AWESOME!  

This passage from week 19 of the Master Keys has been demonstrated over and over to me this week…

19-17.  You may know that thought constantly, eternally is taking form, is forever seeking expression, or you may not, but the fact remains that if your thought is powerful, constructive, and positive, this will be plainly evident in the state of your health, your business and your environment.  If your thought is weak, critical, destructive and negative generally, it will manifest in your body as fear, worry and nervousness, in your finance as lack and limitation, and in discordant conditions in your environment.

So despite my defiance and rebellion, I’m back on track and feeling stronger than ever.  Perhaps it was the last gasp from the old blueprint.  Perhaps it was my mind and body being uncomfortable in its new location in time and space.  Whatever it was, I give great thanks for it because it brought me to a new place and realization.  I do have control over my response and I can create whatever I want!  Like everything else in my life – the good, the bad, the ugly – it’s all part of the journey and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Maybe it’s just me.  This has been the craziest feeling week.  Tie intense personal development and a full/blood/blue moon, and lunar eclipse together, and you’ll feel like you’re going crazy, too!  If you’re reading this and it scares you about taking the MKMMA when it’s offered again, PLEASE don’t let it.  It will be the most rewarding thing you’ll do for yourself.  But it’s work and your blueprint will resist.

Ever heard the crab in the bucket theory?  If a crab tries to escape from a bucket or trap, the other crabs will try to pull him or her back down to their level.  People may say they admire someone who’s different, but actually dealing with someone like that in their midst will often elicit that crab in the bucket reaction.  You become a mirror to them about what they’re not doing with their lives.  That also applies for the self you’ve been for 20, 30, 40, 50, or more years.  It will resist.  So what to do?  I chose this week to increase my meditation/sit time and that helped tremendously.  I’ve been dedicated to my MKMMA exercises, and continued with them with a little more en-thuuuuu-siasm.  I embraced the person I had been and chose to thank her for getting me this far and let her know it was OK to release the resistance.  I would be fine.

I also learned from this analogy.  Back in August after I returned from the T-Tapp Trainers Certs, I began daily exercise…something I’d never done before.  Previously, I was consistent in my workouts, yet never every day.  So since mid-August, I have done a workout EVERY SINGLE DAY, mostly T-Tapp or Kundalini Yoga, though I recently discovered Yoga Shred and have added that to my daily T-Tapp or yoga.  I also added in a 30 minute walk on the treadmill 2 or more times per week.  Now in the past, that would’ve exhausted me to the point of being in bed for a couple of days from overtaxing my body.  However, this time my body adapted positively.  And now, 5 months later, I’m seeing the results.  I’m more flexible, more resilient, have more stamina and strength, and simply feel better physically and emotionally.  Turns out my body was CRAVING this type of freedom and true health to show how strong she could be!  I began to trust myself more as I demonstrated that I could do far more than I thought possible even 6 months ago.  So what’s the connection?  Daily consistent practice is necessary to see results.  And it’s not always fun.  You may not see the results in the timetable you have in your brain, yet you will see them.  Anytime I start to feel discouraged about my progress towards my DMP goals, I’m choosing to remind myself that if I keep doing the work, the results will follow.  They must.  I’ve seen it work.

Another piece of the puzzle is belief.  I have to believe it’s possible.  The old blueprint has struggled mightily over the past couple of weeks to attempt to convince me that I couldn’t achieve my DMP goals.  Telling me I was crazy for thinking I could do this.  And besides, even if I did, I couldn’t hang on to them.  My father couldn’t, so what made me think I could?  Yet, I am not my father.  His journey was different from mine.  He made his decisions, and I am making mine.  I choose to be successful, courageous, healthy, and reach my goal of Diamond within my company and achieve everything in my Press Release.  I know it is happening.  Even when it appears it’s not, it is.  This I now know.

Finally, this week was movie week.  I chose to watch Finding Joe again.  If you’ve not seen this documentary, WATCH IT!  Seeing it again after having been in the MKMMA experience granted some huge a-has!  I’ve learned to embrace my dragons.  To keep moving forward.  To know that there is value in every step I go through.  And to trust myself.  I’m smarter than I’ve ever let myself believe.  Seriously…watch this movie!

 

 

Old blueprint under attack…

Wednesday morning I awoke from a dream of being under attack.  To my recollection, I’ve never dreamed of being under attack before.  It was reminiscent of how people described the false missile alarm on Hawaii a couple of weeks ago.  I grabbed up my baby, gathered supplies, and went to find a safe place.

Wait!

What baby?

My babies are grown.

When I first woke, I thought it might’ve been my grandson I was holding and protecting.  The more I thought about it, the baby wasn’t a boy.  It was a girl.  And then it hit me…my blueprint was under attack and I was holding my inner child for safety.  Hmmmm.  One of the more obvious symbolic dreams I’ve ever had.

During last Sunday’s webinar, Mark talked about how the old blueprint was dying and how we’re dying to our old selves.  Immediately, this scene from Star Wars – The Empire Strikes Back came to mind:

Having watched this many years ago, I had always thought it foreshadowed Luke learning Vader was his father (spoiler alert! LOL!).  However, in light of the Master Keys experience and the Hero’s Journey, I also see it as Luke’s old self dying in order for him to become the Jedi Knight he needs to be.

Another observation from this week…I video chatted with my daughter who lives in Belgium.  I’m very thankful for the technology that allows us to see each other and not rely on only the written word.  During our conversation, she was telling me how thankful she was for her mother-in-law, a very lovely woman who has definitely made my daughter feel welcome in her family.  As I listened, I observed my feelings.  Only a few short months ago, I would’ve felt jealous and wondered why she seemed to prefer her mother-in-law to me.  Now I could only feel appreciation for my daughter being fortunate enough to have a mother-in-law who adores her and makes her feel like one of the family.  Progress indeed.

Because this week was somewhat of a review week, we had choices for our Master Key readings.  Going back to previous readings with the knowledge I have now revealed even more insights.  Now I was understanding what Haanel was saying.  Now I saw how far I’d progressed in the sits, remembering my early sits and how much I struggled to sit still and clear my mind.  My sits are still quite emotional, often ending in tears, yet I let them flow, knowing I’m grieving for that old self that’s becoming new.

And you know what…that’s OK! 🙂